The Sensuality Lure, Stabilizing Hormones and the Skull

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles interpret good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these singles, having sex brings tremendous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), that makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are attracted my website to extremely tough to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and involuntary , causing powerful feelings of attraction, enjoyment, nearness, love, and wellness .

When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, says that a number of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in cosmopolitan areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

North adds, "I think this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow with time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with good sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have Find Out More to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, values, goals, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Sensuality Lure, Stabilizing Hormones and the Skull”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar