The Sex Snare, Stabilizing Hormones and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males use love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings tremendous significance and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be excellent also).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels besides physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), that makes the chance to have sex with someone we are brought in to very hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in effective sensations of attraction, excitement, closeness, love, and wellness .

But when issues emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, states that many of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in metropolitan areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

North adds, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire try this site to point out that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with good sense. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, values, goals, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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